the forgotten
It’s not you, Blog. It’s me
It’s not like I forgot that I had this website and I certainly did not intend on neglecting it. This is just what I do, or what I have done.
I get grand ideas, assemble the pieces, then get distracted halfway through by some other important task. Along the way, I’ll have flashes of ‘oh…you were working on that thing a couple of weeks ago’ - and then negative self-talk and guilt-paralysis sets in.
”It must not have meant enough to you”
”No point in getting back into it now that so much time has passed”
”It was a dumb idea anyway”
”You do this shit all the time”
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point to anticipate this chain of events because I live in a world of ‘absolutes’. I accomplish everything or I accomplish nothing. There’s no possibility of incrementation or a chipping away at a task or a goal. So when I realize that I’m not super woman, or if I actually do attempt to throw myself into the hole of absolutes I come out on the other side burnt out and miserable.
I’m starting to wonder if I can accommodate gradual progress. I don’t have to eat the entire cake, I can start with bite-sized pieces and cheer myself on from there. Startng when I would like another taste, stopping when I’m becoming full, but well-before stuffed.
Let’s start with a bite-sized blog post.
