out : new years resolutions
In : Not setting ourselves up for failure
That’s it. That’s my whole In’s and Out’s list for 2024.
Since I’m chronically in self-improvement mode, I’ve come to learn some things about myself that make my life easier [and harder]. New Years Resolutions make my life emphatically harder. Here’s why :
This time of year is a universal period of reflection on the days and months of past; How we spent our days, the overall tone of the year, the trails, the joys, the mistakes, the successes. This reflection would have been simpler had I spent more time journaling like I told myself I would in the early days of 2023, which only made me realize one important boundary that had to be set. If I want to spend more time improving and less time criticizing, I have to set a boundary with goal-setting, particularly as it concerns the ceremonious New Years Resolutions. I’m not f*cking with it anymore.
I’m aware of the hypocrisy of this statement, which could also be seen as a New Years Resolution of sorts but I’m not accepting feedback on this. I’m not going to get angry with myself, put myself down, and punish future me over a symbolic goal I only set because of a social custom. I also don’t believe that a period of one year is a valuable goal post to measure success and failure. If I’ve learned one thing from Atomic Habits, the book which I started reading 3 years ago (I’m not accepting feedback on this also), it’s that building healthy habits takes time and setting a cut off date doesn’t serve your mission towards self-improvement. My commitments that I make to myself shouldn’t be measured the same way I set my social media goals.
If the New Years Resolution Method is your tried and true for healthy change, by all means continue and I’ll cheer you on! But I’m glad to have unburdened myself from this by finding my own way towards change. Here’s what I’ve come to understand about my brain and how it works :
Realistic goals and expectations - Is this goal within my current capabilities? Will this goal cause conflicts or stress in other areas in my life that I can easily mitigate? Is the forecasted amount of time and energy needed to accomplish this goal realistic?
Boundaries - Am I giving too much of my time? Am I hyperfixating? Are the amount of resources I’m dedicating to this reasonable or unnecessary? Is this healthy behavior? Am I still making time for care tasks?
Simplify the process, step-by-step - Altering my mindset from looking at the process as a whole to a less overwhelming step-by-step instructional map. Small, achievable steps will bank dopamine and boost my motivation to push through towards the larger goal.
Fall in love with the routine - For the more mundane steps, add replenishing elements like music, a podcast, my favorite movie. Even recording aspects of the routine, almost like body-doubling.
Therapy Therapy Therapy - period
Nourishing diet - happy gut, happy brain [for the most part]. Take the time to learn what foods or ingredients help your brain and which foods hurt your brain function.
If I can master these, I can use them anywhere all without waiting for a date on the calendar to authorize it. And that’s freedom, baby